


(I Love) A Man in a Uniform

by misura



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 18:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Go Petunias!</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I Love) A Man in a Uniform

**Author's Note:**

  * For [legete](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legete/gifts).



> I apologize in advance for the mental images, but I just couldn't resist.
> 
> plus, against the Marigolds, I believe Jensen totally would feel this to be a great idea. fantastically unrealistic, maybe, but still a great idea.

"This is ridiculous," Pooch said. " _We_ look ridiculous."

"More to the point," Clay said quickly, because Jensen was looking decidedly murderous and nobody wanted a repeat of the noodle restaurant incident, "we _don't_ look like eight-year olds."

"Eight-year old girls," Cougar said. He still had his hat on. It didn't really go with the uniform.

"Yes." Clay had tried to avoid that particular word. He liked his manly stubble. "Exactly."

"Well, I had a _perfect_ plan that would have made all of this unnecessary," Jensen said, but _someone_ \- " a pointed look at Clay here " - vetoed it."

Of all of them, Jensen was probably the only one on whom the uniform looked sort of okay. Ish. It didn't look that different from the kind of stuff he was usually wearing.

"It involved firing tranquilizer darts," Clay said mildly. "At children."

"You can't allow yourself to think of them as children," Jensen said. "They're the enemy! They must be destroyed! Vanquished! Wiped off the face of the earth! Or, as the case may be, hit with a tranquilizer dart at a strategically opportune moment."

"The risks involved - " Clay started.

"Cougar could have done it!" Jensen said, which was definitely playing dirty.

"I'm sure," Clay said, because he was, in fact, sure. "However, it wouldn't have been ethical. It goes against the rules of fair play." No good, no good; he needed something stronger. More personal. "You think your niece wants to win that way? By cheating?"

"She'd never need to know," Jensen said, and Clay thought _bingo!_

"You think she wouldn't be a tiny bit suspicious if people on the other team suddenly started falling over? You said she was a smart cookie, Jensen."

"I did," Jensen said. "She is."

"Meaning she's also going to notice something's up if the four of us walk onto the field."

Jensen looked crushed. Clay felt like a rotten bastard, which was surely uncalled for. "Look," he said, "we'll all go cheer her on, all right?"

"In our normal clothes," Pooch said quickly.

"But that's it. No more."

Jensen sighed. "Fine." Clay could tell it was _not_ fine as he walked away though; a massive pout was written all over his back. There'd be nothing for it, then; they'd all have to pray very, very hard that the Petunias were going to win and win big next weekend.

Prayer had never worked out particularly well for Clay before, but it was better than nothing.

"He's going to be absolutely _horrible_ ," Pooch said.

"Don't worry about it," Cougar said. "I'll go get him cheered up. He owes me for this uniform, anyway."

Clay's imagination insisted on providing him with some mental images. If they ever needed to make a gay porn movie for a job, they were probably going to be just fine.

"You do that," he said.

" _How_ 's he going to cheer Jensen up and get payback at the same time?" Pooch asked, once Cougar was safely gone, which Clay took to mean Pooch knew damn well on some level.

On some other level: "You don't want to know."

Pooch looked confused for perhaps all of five seconds. "Oh. Right."

"Sex is a wonderful, many-splendored thing," Clay said.


End file.
